Why My Family Will Think Any European Male I Bring Home Is Gay

As promised...

1. Two words: man purse. Far too many European males are rockin’ the murse. I get that it’s good for carrying stuff around, and they can’t use their pockets unlike Amercian males because of #2, which is…

2. Tight pants. Not exactly skin tight, but there’s not much room for anything to breathe. I thought that was important.

3. They look so put together. They generally dress better and are more fashion forward than I am. No t-shirts for these boys. Even those trying to rock the American gangsta style still look like the model versions of American gangsters. (Except my friend, Arnaud, but he also knows every American rap song ever sung. I don’t think he counts.)

4. Their hair is also generally better than mine.

5. Man jewelry, and I don’t mean watches.

6. They wear ties to clubs. I can’t even count the number of guys I’ve danced with in suits. It’s a bit ridiculous. I’m pretty sure in the States a guy just picks up a random shirt, says, “That smells like it’s clean,” and then goes out.

7. Their cologne smells better than my perfume… and they always wear it, so they always smell slightly flowery.

8. They don’t really eat. Well, they do… just way less. It always makes me really uncomfortable when whatever guy I’m on a date with consumes less food than me. That happens… every date here. Unless they have discovered the joy that is McDonalds, in which case they can probably out eat me.

9. Their alcoholic beverage of choice is wine. In the States, you bring beer to a sporting event. In France, real men drink wine.

And last but not least,

10. I saw two guys bisous, which is the French greeting of kissing on both cheeks. I don’t care if they were drunk. Isn’t that when your true emotions come out?